new year rituals & resolutions

release the garbage & bring in the gold

Hello and Happy New Year!

New year resolutions can often leave us feeling like a loser a few months in, and even more so when another new year rolls around and we realise we completely abandoned our well intentioned litanies of improvements.

I like to spend a little time on early in January meditating on what I want to focus on in the year to come. 

In the hopes of encouraging positive self-regard, here are some thoughts on resolutions and rituals for the new year. And I'll share with you some systems I've figured out to help me follow through with resolutions and achieve goals. 


Take stock of the past year

It’s easy to feel like, ‘I failed my resolutions. I didn’t do anything of note. I’m a loser.’ But let yourself reflect on the past year with some patience and generosity.
 
Try to spot nasty self-talk and remind yourself to speak to yourself as you would to your best friend.
 
I love to write down one thing I did that I enjoyed in each month of the year. Do it quickly, let your instincts remind you. They don’t have to be career related things at all, just experiences that stand out. For example, in September I visited the Jurassic Coast. In April I read in the bath every day.
 
And here are a few questions if you’d like some help reflecting:

  • What’s one thing you did this year that you feel proud of?

  • What was the most valuable lesson you learned this year?

  • What about this past year most delighted you?

  • What friendships were most important to you in the past year?

  • What did your most restful day look like?

  • If you had a do-over for a mistake you made this past year, what would you do differently?

Give the coming year a theme

 Rather than simply being goal orientated I’ve found it really comforting and grounding to give myself a theme for the year I’m heading into.

For instance, in 2020 I wanted to focus on EASE – how could I live in a more easeful way. A good friend of mine was focussing on POWER in 2020 and in 2021 she’ll focus on ACCEPTANCE.
 
My big HACK is to write down whatever it is your focussing on and stick it somewhere you’ll see it every day. Above your desk, on the inside door of your wardrobe, on your fridge – up to you. But the key is seeing it every day.

Even if you don’t think you’re taking active steps to realise this focus, being reminded daily helps your unconscious mind guide you closer to it.
 

Create a Ritual

A simple ritual I really like to do at the summer and winter solstices, but also works perfectly at new years, is to write down three things I want to let go of and three things I want to draw into my life.

You burn the list of things you want to get rid (safely!) and scatter the ash into the wind, releasing it. And keep that list of three things you desire in a place you’ll see everyday.
 

Golden Rules for Goal Setting

To set goals you can achieve, consider the SMART acronym:

  • Specific

  • Measurable (give it a number)

  • Attainable

  • Realistic

  • Time-bound (by when?)

 
That’s well and good but here are my tried and true tactics for accomplishing my goals:
 

  • Accountability – announce it to your social media, or a friend or two, if you can get a couple buddies to join you in the same goal or in a parallel goal.

  • A little everyday – do a little bit every day. Even if that’s 5 or 10 minutes. You can increase this increment slowly over time. But for now you want to make a new habit painless and easeful.

  • Fun/pleasure/ease – choose something that will ultimately bring you pleasure or bring you closer to the life you desire. Don’t punish yourself.

  • Game-ify – I live for charts where I can see my progress adding up. Create a chart where you can check off each day, a sticker system, something fun to track your progress.

  • Reward system – What treat can you give yourself after each time you do X?

  • Quarterly check-ins – book quarterly check-ins with yourself to stay on track – put them in your digital calendar now with a link to the goals.

  • Pay money to pay attention – “when people PAY they pay attention” - invest in yourself and enjoy the dividends.

  • Get help – set yourself up for success. If it’s a new skill or you know you do better with a teacher, mentor or coach – HIRE THEM!

  • SMALL NUMBER – Don’t choose more than 3! Take time to winnow it down.

  • Write them down and look at them Every. Single. Day - Enough said.


I hope these ideas steer you towards a more fulfilling and rewarding year.

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artist life hacks, creative processHaley McGeegoalsetting newyearsresolutions