Being Creative When You Don't FEEL Like It

…folding those crumby feelings into the work

I heard an apocryphal tale from a fellow writer, that when Ottessa Moshfegh, author of My Year of Rest and Relaxation, was broke and wanted to write a book that would make her money, she purchased a book about writing books and followed its method. That book, Eileen, won the Man Booker Prize.

I did some sleuthing and discovered that the writing book she used was The 90-Day Novel, by Alan Watt. I thought, what the hell – I have no idea how to write and book and I too wanna earn from writing. So, I bought Watt’s book and used it to help me through my first draft of The Ex-Boyfriend Yard Sale.

I have to confess I didn’t adhere to it strictly… But! There was a nugget of advice Watt kept coming back to that was massively helpful for me finishing my first and all the subsequent drafts of the book. And I’ve shared it with all my students since, it’s so good.

Fold whatever you’re feeling into the draft.

Whatever resistance or shitty feelings you’re experiencing – imposter syndrome, self-doubt, boredom, hopelessness, rage at not being more talented, fear that all this time will be wasted, fear of failure, of embarrassing yourself, sense that there’s not enough time – can be worked with.

Those can and should be folded into your work.

Ask yourself where those crumby feelings, that make writing feel impossible, exist INSIDE your project.

Let them part of your creation rather than a barrier to it.

This concept reminded me of my clown training. In clown, anything that goes wrong, on stage or out in the audience (a phone going off or a bat entering the theatre) is a gift.

It’s an unexpected thing that thrusts everyone in the room into the same moment and oh boy, do we ever love to see a clown try to resolve a problem.

In fact, by simply reacting to a phone going off in an audience, there are huge laughs to be had.

It’s real. It’s annoying and it’s so normal. By acknowledging the phone and shooting the audience a look that conveys your genuine irritation, rather than ignoring it, everyone in the room gets to be present in the same moment and the tension is defused.

I think there’s a parallel with writing.

If you’re feeling furious or bored. Ask yourself where those feelings of fury or boredom live INSIDE the project you’re creating. And explore them there. How are your characters bored or furious? Even in a scene that is seemingly joyful, if you can ask yourself where fury or boredom live in that scene and let them have a presence your writing will be textured, nuanced, complex and rich.

It will ring true. It will let your audience, or your readers share in what’s exactly going on. I think that’s a palpable quality that is hard to manufacture but you know when you come across it as a reader or watcher.

I encourage you to dare to do that. Give your readers the honest goods.

BUT more importantly, don’t let your mood keep you from creating.

Let whatever mood you’re in be a jumping off point for what you’ll explore and look for in your project.  It means the conditions for creating are always right and you don’t have to be in a war with yourself.

It EVEN works for procrastination. Ask yourself, where does procrastination live inside this project. What is being avoided and why? And explore it on the page.

I hope this tidbit helps you as much as it helped me and my students over the last couple years. 

Feel your feelings and keep creating!

—

Are you enjoying these tips & tricks? You can sign up to my mailing list to receive a whole host of pieces of advice, experience and musings each week, directly in your inbox.